


Ocean's Date

by scintilla10



Category: Ocean's 8 (2018)
Genre: Cruise Ships, F/F, Fake/Pretend Relationship, Femslash, Getting Together, Heist, Pining, Post-Canon, Undercover as a Couple
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-06
Updated: 2018-10-06
Packaged: 2019-07-25 23:11:57
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,297
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16207661
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/scintilla10/pseuds/scintilla10
Summary: In which Debbie agrees to pull a job on a cruise ship where A) she won't make any money and B) she has pretend to be in love with Lou. Well, at least that last part isn't hard.





	Ocean's Date

**Author's Note:**

  * For [notwisely](https://archiveofourown.org/users/notwisely/gifts).



> Dear notwisely,
> 
> I took you up on your interest in Leverage-type shenanigans -- I hope this works for you! Happy femslash exchange!
> 
> Fair warning: I have never been on a cruise, and expect many errors abound.

Debbie’s on a private beach in Brazil, drinking margaritas and catching up on the Elena Ferrante Neapolitan Novels when she gets Lou’s message. It’s not quite “drop everything and come home” but it’s as close as they come, and Debbie’s on a flight to New York by dinnertime.

Lou picks her up at JFK. “Hi,” she says, her eyes flicking over Debbie. “Love your tan.”

Debbie rolls her eyes and pulls Lou into a hug. She smells sharp and citrusy.

“You better tell me what’s so important for you to drag me back here,” Debbie says.

Lou blinks at her from beneath her bangs, and smiles at Debbie, low and slow, the kind of smile that pools deep in Debbie’s belly.

“You’re gonna love it,” she says.

~~~

Debbie does _not_ love it. Debbie does not love it one bit.

But Debbie does love Lou -- no getting away from that. And that's how, three weeks later, she finds herself stepping onto the Rapture of the Pacific, her arm entangled in Lou’s, a fake smile plastered on her face, wishing she were back on the beach in Brazil. Hell, this is almost enough to wish herself back in prison.

“I’m going to say it again,” she hisses into Lou’s ear. "There are very limited escape routes on a boat.”

“We don’t need an escape route,” Lou says confidently.

“Plus I get seasick,” Debbie adds, which is only partially true.

“I got you covered, girl,” Constance says from behind her, holding up her bag. "Gravol."

"Thank you," Debbie says, poking Lou in the arm.

"And ginger tea," Constance adds.

Debbie gravely accepts a pouch of tea. “At least I know who my true friends are."

"Daaaamn," Constance says.

"Ouch," says Lou, but she's grinning at Debbie, like she knows Debbie was only seasick that one time on the speedboat in Lake Michigan because of all of the tequila.

Lou pecks Debbie on the cheek. Debbie tries not to flush. “Good thing we have the Newlywed Suite all to ourselves.”

~~~

The Newlywed Suite has rose petals sprinkled on the bed, pink throw pillows on every surface, and an ornate frame on the wall with "True Love" calligraphied (badly) inside it.

“Well, this is truly special,” Debbie says, eyeing the bowl of candy hearts on the dresser. 

Lou quirks her eyebrow. "Not to your taste, your highness?"

Debbie tosses a pink pillow at her. "I can't believe I'm wearing bermuda shorts," she adds. 

The look Lou sends her is scorching, and Debbie feels her cheeks heat. 

"You make anything look good," Lou says.

"Flatterer."

Lou grins and ducks into the tiny bathroom. “Dinner's in an hour. Ready to try the buffet with hundreds of our new best friends?"

Debbie pushes down the discomfort squirming in her gut.

"You bet," she says.

~~~

It's only her, Lou, Constance and Amita on this job.

The cruise line is owned by a dirtbag who roped one of Lou's friends into an amusement park investment scam and out of their life savings. Said dirtbag is currently camping out in one of the cruise staterooms while he avoids landing back on American soil. It's a straightforward enough grift. He's already contacted Amita to invite her to dinner while she's on the Rapture -- the result of some strategically-placed profiles about her family's sunken fortune.

"I gotta say, there's a real lack of swashbuckling on this pirate ship," Amita says, as Debbie zips her into a shimmery green cocktail dress in preparation for her dinner.

"Did the lack of skull and crossbones give it away?" Lou asks drily.

Amita meets Debbie's gaze in the mirror and rolls her eyes. Debbie grins at her. "He just seems like he'll fold easily," Amita says. 

It's seven days on the Rapture of the Pacific of fun, sun, and one simple con, and Debbie is already feeling claustrophobic. She'd been half-joking when she suggested packing an inflatable raft and a GPS, but now she's wishing she had an escape route that didn't involve striking out for the distant shore. She's never been a strong swimmer. Plus, that kind of thing is just undignified.

If there's one thing Debbie has learned from the last few years, it's that she likes being the planner. There's security in being the one to run the scenario, smooth the rough edges, and set everything in motion. She likes it and she's good at it.

Letting Lou run this one is making her palms itch.

But -- it means a lot to Lou to do something about this scumbag. So Debbie's going to suck it up and make it happen.

"Yo ho ho," Constance says, and eats the last of the candy hearts.

~~~

"Two women in the Newlywed Suite will definitely get noticed," Debbie had pointed out, when Lou had first outlined the plan.

"Especially two ladies who look like you two," Amita added.

"The Newlywed Suite is right below his stateroom," Lou said.

"Right. I get that. But it's not too late to bring in a guy to play the husband. I know someone my brother used to run with who could --"

"That's all right," Lou said. "This time, we want everyone to notice."

~~~

Debbie and Lou get dinner at the buffet and sit at a table with a queer couple from Seattle, an older heterosexual couple from Toronto, and two sisters from Michigan. Everyone tells stories about themselves, and Lou says they're on their honeymoon and squeezes Debbie's hand. Debbie's heart flutters in her chest.

Somehow their table ends up singing a raucous round of "For she's a jolly good fellow" until Debbie kisses Lou. Her lips are warm and she kisses back, her hand drifting along Debbie's jaw and winding into her hair. The table cheers. 

Debbie pulls back, breathless.

Lou smiles at her and blindly accepts the hand-off Constance makes of the keycard to the mark's suite without blinking an eye.

"You two are so sweet!" one half of the queer couple says. "Would you join us in the mass LGBTQ commitment ceremony on Deck 5 on Thursday?"

The table cheers again.

Debbie wishes once again that she felt more in control of this plan.

~~~

The mark falls for the treasure hunt bait Amita plants for him, and spends the next day in the Rapture of the Pacific's communications room, annoying the navigation crew and trying to follow up on the scant leads.

Since the ship is in port, they spend the day touring a picturesque island town. Lou tucks a purple flower rakishly behind her ear and wears ridiculously oversized sunglasses, and Debbie can't help the way her heart kicks up a notch.

"See? Cruises aren't so bad," Lou says, leaning over to flick Debbie lightly on the hip.

"Please, this is a complete nightmare," Debbie tells her. "Give me a suite in Paris any day."

Amita laughs all the way back to the Rapture.

~~~

"Greedy, greedy, greedy," Constance says, later that night, lounging on the bed in the Newlywed Suite. They're watching on the cameras they planted in the mark's suite as he checks his accounts and make plans for a transfer.

"He's ready to blow," Amita adds.

Lou's eyes glitter. "We're not finished yet," she says.

~~~

Their newfound tablemate friends draft them into a shuffleboard tournament on Deck 12. Lou is hilariously bad at it.

"Can I get a new partner?" Debbie says, after Lou misses another shot.

"Like you're such a catch," Lou shoots back, her gaze dark.

Debbie is delighted. She doesn't remember the last thing Lou was actively _bad_ at.

"Don't lie, I'm a total catch," Debbie says. 

"You two are adorable," Ellie from Michigan tells them.

Debbie laughs. "I think I'm going to be murdered in my sleep tonight," she says, as Lou glares at her.

When they break for lunch, Lou pulls Debbie aside and kisses her in front of everyone, her tongue in Debbie's mouth and hand burning at Debbie's hip. Debbie curls her hand around the soft skin of Lou's neck, fingers hooking into the chunky necklace she's wearing.

"Didn't want anyone to think we didn't make up," Lou says, pulling back. Her eyes seem to catch on Debbie's mouth, then flit away. 

Debbie nods, breathless.

_Just for appearances, just for appearances._

This is the most obvious scam she's pulled since she was fifteen, and who could have guessed she's her own easiest mark.

~~~

Debbie lounges by the pool for the afternoon while Lou and Amita are watching the mark. She's finished Elena Ferrante, so she steals one of Lou's books. It's hard to relax on her own too much, because being on a boat is making her skin itch. So she sits in the sun and thinks. 

She's been waiting for something for a while now. Beaches in Brazil are great and all -- okay, they're fantastic. But it turns out that isn't what she's looking for, not really. After all, when Lou called, she'd thought -- Well, she'd jumped on a plane like it was a sign.

It's been years since she's felt this fluttery around Lou and, frankly, it's embarrassing. Not to mention cliched. The falling-for-your-fake-fiance is a classic for a reason. 

And it makes her feel ... out of control.

But Lou looks at her like maybe this whole falling-for-your-fake-fiance thing may not be so one-sided. That's honestly a lot to process, after years of not processing that particular thing between them. Debbie's been out of prison one year now, and her life is a lot different than it used to be before. It seems like Lou's might be, too.

First things first, though. They have to get off this goddamn boat.

~~~

"Oh my god, KD Lang is here?" Amita squeaks. "Oh no wait -- she's a KD Lang cover artist."

"I can make that work," Lou says, and holds her hand out for Debbie. She's wearing a white suit, open low down her chest, and heavy silver jewelry, and Debbie has to swallow before she's able to say a word.

"You look stunning," she says, and lets Lou guide her up to the front of the crowd on Deck 5 for the mass queer commitment ceremony they're apparently participating in.

Their queer Seattle friends wave at them. "It's an annual tradition for us now!" one of them says, smiling.

Debbie looks back out at the crowd of cheering people. She spots Constance taking a million pictures of them, and Amita waves at her, tears in her eyes.

Lou leans toward her. Her eyes are bright and wide and so familiar, and Debbie loves her. Really, really loves her. 

"Did I say? You're gorgeous," Lou says.

Debbie smiles at her. "I'm almost sold on cruises," she says. Then, because she's her own worst enemy, she adds, "You think this will attract enough notice?"

Lou's smile slips a fraction, and Debbie's stomach drops. "Just the right amount," she says, and they turn to wave happily at the cheering crowd.

~~~

The mark falls disgustingly easy. By noon, he's drained his accounts to put toward recovering Amita's sunken family treasure, and by three, he's signed over the whole company. By the time they make port that evening, he's in Interpol's custody. 

And Debbie was only just starting to get the hang of the cruise ship lifestyle.

Lou already handled the financial stuff, so it doesn't take long for the company shares to be anonymously dispersed among the people he scammed over the years. 

"It feels kinda weird to be giving money away," Debbie says, her fingers twisting the fake wedding ring Lou gave her. She should probably take it off soon. Once they get off the cruise ship and don't have to pretend to be together anymore, that is.

"It wouldn't feel right to keep this particular money, though," Lou says.

"Very Robin Hood of you," Debbie says, though she thinks Lou is right. 

There's also something satisfying in pulling off a job so smoothly with a dirtbag of a mark as a target. A tendril of a new plan flits into Debbie's head, and she tucks it away, willing it to germinate.

"Besides, it turns out there were all those diamonds in the safe in the stateroom," Amita reminds them, a sly grin on her face. "Just lying there. Innocently."

"Wouldn't be right to leave them," agrees Constance.

Debbie grins at Lou. "So, not completely a prince of thieves job," she says. 

"Somebody's gotta keep you in candy hearts, your highness," Lou shoots back. 

Constance and Amita wander off towards the ballroom, where music is pouring out into the deck. Lou tugs at Debbie's shoulder to hold her back from following them.

"We could get off here," she says, her face serious. "Catch a flight back."

Debbie looks at her. "And miss out on swimming with dolphins?"

Lou meets her gaze, eyes steady. "It might be easier than dancing around whatever --" She gestures between them. "-- Whatever this is."

Debbie cocks her head in the direction of the music. She takes a deep breath, then holds out her hand. "C'mon," she says. "We'll stop dancing around it and dance together."

Lou looks down, and then reaches out to grab Debbie's hand. Her finger rubs over the fake wedding ring. "Yeah?" she says.

"Definitely," Debbie says. "I think I'm done avoiding." 

Lou steps closer and Debbie wraps her arms around her. Lou smells citrusy and fresh, and Debbie is ready to melt into her. She kisses her instead, her mouth open and her body leaning into Lou's, just the two of them on a quiet corner of the deck. They're surrounded by the ocean, and the sky is a bright swirl of brilliant stars.

"You really wanna see those dolphins, huh?" Lou says breathlessly when she pulls away.

"Swim with them," Debbie says firmly, and kisses her until she shuts up.


End file.
